Crazy and Deliriously Happy: Day 2

Both stories of our daughter's entrance into our world come with their own glimpses of hope and of joy.

When we received our referral for Sara Graceanna in 2004, it was two years after our heartbreaking loss of my sweet brother Nathaniel and sister Sara. It had been a painful and long journey in its own right. I had lost hope. I had lost joy. I was empty. Then, after picking up the adoption after it was stalled for so long after losing Nathaniel and Sara, evidences of grace and hope were scattered along our road to Graceanna. The week of her birth and abandonment was the week on the other side of the globe that we fell upon her name, Graceanna, a double portion of grace, something a kind lady had assured me that God was working in my life, even in my grief. Praying that first Christmas following the accident that God would give me some bit of joy, of peace, of grace in my life and finding out after our referral that our soon to be daughter was conceived that December. And that day when we first saw her face. I was standing on a tower of boxes cleaning my office that Tuesday afternoon. My reader, a student who worked for me, answered the phone and I told her to take a message and she told me to TAKE THE CALL. Realizing it was Hillary from CCAI, I almost lost my balance on a precarious stack of boxes and plummeted to the floor. Hearing her say, "I know you have been through so much and I just wanted to call you personally to tell you that you are a mom of a beautiful little girl...." The tears that followed. The inability to recall my password to open my email. My reader somehow knowing my password. My office filling with students pouring out into the hall. My husband running from his office to mine as her picture slowly appeared from bottom to top, old school fashion and then the tears, the crying, the clearing of the room until it was just Matt, me and this face I had always known in the depths of my heart. And the joy. The return of joy. That was an incredible story. So many pieces of beauty and brokenness tied up into a picture of hope.

Yesterday, the climax to a second story. Emma's story. Graceanna's story. Our story. A long, long road of so many turns, so many unbelievable moments of uncertainty in our lives. New journeys of purpose, leaving and letting go of our lives as teachers and entering the unknown. Everyday a challenge in faith or a question of "what were we thinking?" The heart of a little sister that was so desperately wanting a sweet baby sister that never a day in 5 years went by without a prayer for her and a longing for her. 5 years of travels, new countries, new homes, challenges, interesting people, even more interesting sagas. Each year bringing a new home, a new country and a new adventure all from the same 6 suitcases, but no mei mei for Gracie.

And now, here we are. 6 years after starting the process for Emma, 5 years after her paperwork arrived in China and 5 years after Matt started medical school. Here we are. Matt turned 40 a couple of months ago, and last month he received his diploma for medical school in the mail. In a week, he marches at Lincoln Center in downtown Manhattan. And, I am happy and pleased to say when he does, he will be holding a picture of a little girl. A little baby girl long awaited, long hoped for, long prayed for. A little girl in our hearts long before she was even conceived. A little baby girl whose big sister has been praying for her, planning for her and talking to her long before she even opened her eyes for the first time.

Two wonderful stories of joy and hope and a lot of patience and faith.
And two beautiful gifts to remind us that life is very, very good.


So, look at those yummy sweet cheeks and lips. I am thinking they look a little like sisters...