Jars for China Update & Turning Hurt to Joy

It has been several months since that day we talked and she made a decision on how she would respond to the discussion about her scars. You can read about it here.

It is only $35 a month, but to a 7 year old that is a lot of money. In our house, that is 35 days of making Mom and Dad's bed at $1 per bed makeover, one of the many creative ways she has chosen to raise her money (her bed doesn't count since it is her responsibility). Her price seems expensive but it is for a good cause, she says. Last week, I entered my room to the strong aroma of perfume. I mean strong! My nose followed the scent to my pillow. Gracie stood pleased and asked if the extra eau de toilette might get her an extra quarter for her Jars for China. I said, "Of course" (and then I opened up all the windows and aired out my pillow case). We have also found flowers (pulled from vases around the apartment) placed on our pillows, stuffed animals, Graciemade sleeping crowns, and other delights on our neatly made bed to the cost of an extra quarter here or there. At the end of the month, she hands over $35 in bills and her variation of coins, which has included piles of pennies (she like Abe a lot). I make the payment with my card and we deposit the money in the bank together. We just made our third month today.



I am watching my daughter whose passion for this has not slowed down. I am thankful to see the light in her eyes when she talks about her friend, Gabriella. I am amazed to see the little sacrifices she makes to use her money for her friend she is sponsoring rather than tempting treats or things. She loves to tell the story of Gabriella and get the latest update on how she is doing. Joy. That is what I see in her face. Joy that she is doing something positive. Joy in knowing that she is helping Gabriella.

Christmas is around the corner and she is already thinking about presents. She is enlisting her aunties and doting grandparents. In the past, our family has chosen to do a gift for someone that we all do together. Gracie is putting Gabriella's name in the hat hoping that this year, Gabriella will get that extra something special.

Total raised for Gabriella: $124.35

I am struck with something today. We have just finished the holiday of thanksgiving and I am hoping that we have taken the opportunity to truly be grateful for that which we have. It is so easy to get caught up in the negative, in the loss, the hurt, the injustice. But to take all the tough stuff and still enter each moment with gratitude and with hope can change the way we see things and the way we respond to our hurt, our scars. Taking our hurt and from it, choosing to do something positive means that we are making our world better in spite of all the injustice and sadness. And before we even know it, we begin to heal ourselves. And those scars that could threaten to make us hard, instead become fuel to change.

We are entering in to the season of hope...of giving...of joy....How is it that we will turn hurt to joy? How is it we can turn hopelessness to hopefulness? How are we going to give in order to heal...ourselves and those around us?




Gabriella is one special little one of many beautiful, special little ones at An Orphan's Wish. If you would like to get involved in their lives by giving, check them out here:

Little Sis Turns 19

It was her big birthday. 13. She was excited. We celebrated at a little restaurant in Ghaunzhou, China. It was exactly a week after Gracie had joined our family and here we were celebrating my little sister's big day surrounded by our new friends, 8 beautiful baby girls and our family.





Watching the baby of the family welcome in the newest baby of the family was...well...pretty great. She turned 13 in China as far away from home as she had ever been, lost her place as the baby of the family and became an auntie in one wonderfully memorable week. I remember a particular bath time in China with a little baby who was a lot afraid and a little 12 year old who wanted to help. She climbed in the tub with her where new little niece sat. Her feet and clothes soaked and her trademark silliness she made her little baby niece laugh.







And six years later on this beautiful Sunday afternoon, I watched them walk hand in hand across the grass, my sweet girl looking up at her beautiful Auntie with adoring eyes. They were walking in their dresses and smiling. And I, I just watched. With my camera in my hands. And forgot to take a picture.


Happy Birthday to a beautiful sister and a pretty all around wonderful Auntie. You are loved.

I Feel Pretty

We talk a lot at home about beauty. Don't get me wrong. Yes, I tell my daughter how much I love her eyes, her button nose and especially how beautiful her feet are. These little feet that are wide and thick and a bit turned in and absolutely perfect to me. I am talking about a deeper beauty. She asked me one day if she was ugly...I got worried. Why would she think that? A little girl had told her she was ugly and had ugly straw hair. My first defensive response wanted to be, "She's just jealous...and ugly." And by ugly, I mean her attitude, which really does affect one's outer beauty, but I don't even know the little girl. Of course, I didn't go with the defensive mom approach. I did say that what the little girl said wasn't nice and also wasn't true. I told her she was perfectly and wonderfully made from the top of her sweet head to the tip of those toes that require special shoes. I told Gracie beauty began on the inside of her heart and poured out into her smile and the twinkle in her eye and the sweet way she met the world.

She gets told she is pretty or cute a lot. And I think she is the most beautiful girl in the world. "Mom, you have to say that. You're my mom." That's what I would tell my mom and I am guessing every other daughter has said that one to their mom. But I want her to grow up knowing that she is perfectly and wonderfully made but her beauty is a decision, a decision in character that flows from heart. Right now, she gets that.

And what is really great about kids is naturally, they see beauty for what it really is rather than the standard by which the world sees it. That comes as they see us model it, as the world's ideas start barging into their perfectly wonderful perspectives. One afternoon, we were walking in the park. There was a homeless lady sitting on a bench and she was smiling a half toothless grin and waving at the children playing by the fountain. She seemed quite happy and Gracie turned and said half laughing, "She's beautiful mom!" Really? I thought she looked very sweet and kind, but beautiful wasn't the word that came to my mind. She said that because kids see beauty differently until they are taught by the world a different version.

I haven't always been very good at preserving her perspective of beauty. Sometimes, I really goof up. One morning before church, I was standing undressed in front of the mirror having tried on several dresses and feeling unhappy with what I saw staring back at me. I was sighing and reaching for another gown when Gracie stood in the door and said, "Mom! Why are you trying on another dress?" And then in a softer tone, "You are beautiful and soft and cuddly and I like you just the way you are!" True story. Honest to goodness. She said "soft and cuddly," which is a direct reference to all soft and cuddly under-toned bits. I tried to make light of the situation and asked if I should just go like this...dressless...and she said that was "inappropriate!" and marched with her sassy self out of the room (we're working on that sassy thing)! Another morning, on our way to church I was madly applying my make up in the car between potholes and stoplights. Gracie said, "Mom? Why do you always have to wear makeup to church and to school?" Anyone who knows me (my lovely students and coworkers from years past) knows that there are more days than not that I have come to class in my favorite hair bun and makeup less luster. But, Gracie saw a trend. It was when I was entering the community of certain groups of people or places that I would hurry to put on the makeup. I, off the cuff, said I was getting older and had to fill in the creases and bumps and wasn't about to let people see me looking like ....Oops. Bad mom. "Like what? Mom!!!! You are beautiful and just the way God made you and you don't need makeup! You said!" Oh, right. I said. If we want it for our girls. We have to emulate. We have to believe it for ourselves about ourselves. This doesn't mean walking around in our sweats, bedhead, two day old mascara (I am not admitting that this has ever been me...) It is okay to wear that makeup and look our best, but we have to find the fine line of appreciating our aging and the changes that come to us physically, because to age gracefully is more about appreciating our bodies, our faces for the beauty that they truly are and growing in wisdom, working on who we are inside rather than trying to stop what is happening outside or tirelessly working to perfect some Barbie doll beauty. Because when our daughters will look in the mirror and see their reflection what do we want them to see, how do we want them to view themselves? I am pretty sure, that whatever they see and however they see it, it will be in the same light as we, their moms, see our own reflection.

30 Days of Givaways

I should be doing some really important things from my Tuesday To Do List, but I could not pass up another entry. I just popped over to Ni Hao Ya'll and saw this:



I am joining this fun! Check it out. Wonderful treats! And I am not just talking about the giveaway. Visit her blog, read her posts, learn about An Orphan's Wish, and you too may be a regular visitor!

Jars for China

It started with a question. It was a quiet afternoon and I was rubbing lotion on her scars that often still become irritated. She wanted to know where the scars came from. I tried to give my best answer in the kindest light. They were long ago, had to do with lack of resources.... It left her thoughtful and quiet. Then, she asked me if her sister who she has been long awaiting would have these. I didn't know. She wanted to know if she had all that she needed. She was pensive and fell quiet again. Then, she left the room and returned with her piggy bank, and a jar of change she had collected.

"I am going to collect money. I am going to save my money and send it to the children in orphanages in China...so that they will have what they need. So they will have diapers and medicine. No more scars, Mom." For a moment I didn't speak and when I began, she interrupted in her stubborn tone, sure I was about to talk her out of her plan.

"I am serious, Mom!" Then, she launched into her plan that was quickly developing in her head. If she raised enough money, she could go to the biggest store and buy all the diapers, all the medicine, and then she would take it in all the suitcases (apparently, she is aware of our over abundance of luggage) and she would fly to China and go to the orphanages and.... She kept talking and explaining her plan while she walked out of the room in the way that she walks when her mind is set and she has a mission. I was worried when it seemed so quiet and she had been gone for a time. Maybe she was thinking about those scars, maybe I hadn't answered her the way I should have.... I peeked in her room to find her drawing. The pictures depicted children, families, her sister, us, and orphanages with children getting everything they needed to feel happy and healthy. The story she drew covered several pages which she narrated to me.


She collected jars from the kitchen, from recycling, and they found their way to the spot beside her bed, neatly lined up.



I know. She is seven. One might be inclined to think this will all pass as so often our intentions for good sadly do, but this is one area I can say with certainty that my daughter doesn't waver. When a plan, a mission enters her, she does not steer from it. And if you steer from your announced mission, she lets you know.

But even more than that, Graceanna has a keen sense of justice. To her, the world, the people in it, and all God's creatures deserve the same love, comfort and safety. She believes with all her heart that she can do something about that. I love that about her.

She genuinely and completely cares for those around her and she empathizes rather than simply pitying.

It isn't about praising my daughter or placing her on a pedestal. She doesn't see how she acts in that light and I don't want her to. This is about what I learned and how I am growing or attempting to.... My daughter is like all of us. She is perfectly imperfect. She is stubborn and a little too bossy at times and on occasion a bit of sass comes out for a visit, but I am not too proud to admit that I learn from her sweet heart all the time. Her heart is one of compassion. The kind that isn't about look at what I've done. It is a natural response for her. She feels their hurt and takes action. I think that is true for many who have suffered in some way. They identify with the suffering and they are willing to act and enter it with someone else.


September, I had to speak for church. I struggled for some time on my topic choice. It wasn't until that rainy afternoon moment with my daughter and her jars that I realized what I wanted to talk about.

Compassion.

Compassion is so much more than simply feeling for someone else's situation. It is empathizing. It is walking in another's shoes and suffering alongside them, choosing to sacrifice something and act upon it, no matter the cost. The truest form of compassion calls us to costly love. The kind of love that doesn't ask for anything in return, but acts, gives generously and joyfully of time, money, heart and energy.

Compassion pours forth in loving kindness.

My daughter's jars line her room and since that day two months ago, she has raised money, asking those she encounters for change, dollars, (and she will take "big numbers" too). She has negotiated making beds (mine) and doing extra odd jobs to collect coins. With each full jar, she finds another empty jar to be filled. She has counted and recounted.

That day, her jars were only the start to her loving action. Her prayers that have always included a prayer for her little sister in China now included a prayer for all the children in orphanages everywhere.

Several full jars, multiple odd jobs and weeks later , I sat one morning reading my morning blog roll, which included a visit to one of her favorite blogs. Stephanie at NiHao Ya'll was calling for new sponsors for children at An Orphan's Wish. My little Graceanna asked me to read it to her. I did. She looked at me and then left and returned with her jars.

"Do you think I have enough for all the children?" I didn't. But, I knew she had a really good start. For $35 a month she could sponsor a little one from Orphan's Wish. She decided she wanted to sponsor a child.

We spent nearly an hour reading the stories of these children, each one with a special need, each one there because they needed special care. Gracie delighted in the stories of these little ones. Gracie laughed to hear that Ethan, too, is a bit bossy but looks out for the little ones. From Cassie's playful spirit and Olivia's sweet shy smile to Violet's giant happy grin, her response was one mixed with delight in their stories and sadness for their hurt. She asked lots of questions about each of their struggles. She wanted to sponsor them all. It isn't fair to choose one was her response to me.

But, then she thought it through for a while and looked again at each face and said with certainty, "Gabriella...Gabriella because she needs me the very most." I just didn't have words in that moment.

Gabriella is a part of the special care unit. She has cerebral palsy, is paralyzed and cannot speak. But there is more to Gabriella than what she suffers with. She has such an incredible sweet smile. She is more than a child with a special need, she is more than an orphan, she, like each child, is a part of God's heart.





Gracie, true to her word, paid me her first month's sponsorship, which emptied several jars. Those jars are already filling up again. And now, her prayers for the children everywhere include a name, Gabriella.

There is a song by Christy Nockels, By Our Love, that plays over and over in my head. It calls us to action. It calls us to love. And it calls us to act justly (not judgingly), showing kindness. It is basically God's call to us in Micah 6. Watching a child's loving kindness in action reminds me that we all can't afford NOT to give, NOT to care...


I wondered how many times I had stopped by to visit An Orphan's Wish and hadn't made the pledge, each time deciding I would join the 100 sponsors, but not hitting the button that moment, not making the commitment. If a little 7 year old whose income consists of tooth fairy quarters and $1 freelance bed making jobs can commit to $35 a month ... well, I don't need to finish that.


Today, I am starting my own jars.

Thanks, Mom!

My mom. She is so sweet. I love beautiful function. I love to cook and create. All this culminating in something I can't quite afford but have been longing to have. Le Creuset. For my birthday, my mom gave me my very first piece, a dutch oven in my favorite color that all my kitchen essentials are bathed in - red. I use it nearly everyday. It is small, but absolutely lovely. It is almost the holidays and wouldn't it be nice if that Le Creuset would just multiply? There is a lot of baking and cooking to be done. And now that my husband has taken up the art of baking bread, he coveting the use of my one Creuset. Enter Mom. She does a lot of things for me under the "just because" category. I love that category. I had been drooling over a set of Le Creuset. And out of nowhere, Mom left me a sweet little note saying that it was on its way. Mom is pretty sweet. I don't need things and tons of gifts to appreciate and love my mom, because the little ways she thinks of me (and the big ones too) make me feel pretty special.

Okay, let's drool together. Check this out:

It can be found at William Sonoma.

Little Moments

Our day started out a little rough here. G-bug was very tired and a little blue. When she is tired things aren't right in the world. So, when I asked her to clean her room before we started school while I did my own list of tasks I went rather...well, she wasn't interested in it. Sometimes, you have to make the call. You know the one. It is when you decide that it's best to let something go. We decided to switch it up a bit. I set aside my lists of must do's and headed for her room. I put on our favorite kid-friendly tunes by John Lithgow (yes, Lithgow) and we started to clean and organize together....And when our favorite song began to play, my daughter said, "hey Mom, it's our song." I set down the handful of stuff and we danced our silly dance all over the room into the livingroom. It was so fun we danced for the next several songs until we crashed from exhaustion. Somewhere in all that fun the room got cleaned and a tired little girl with the grumps turned into...well, into the little girl I know so well. Our day? Much better. My list? I am getting to it. But really, when I look back on this moment I am going to be pretty glad I let go and enjoyed the little moments....

Dear Husband, Please Note the Following Giant Christmas Present HInt:

It's beautiful, isn't it? Yes, I think so too. I have found the bag my camera and I have longed for....It is everything I love. What's my favorite color to wear? Heather gray, thank you very much. What is my favorite color of handbag? Black with gray, thank you very much. Do I like a lot of hoopla (aka, tassels, buckles, gold, gargantuan chains) on my bag? NO. What do I love? Simplicity. Straight lines. Classic. No trends, thank you. This is it. The one. Darling husband, is this enough of a giant hint? It is also a custom in some places somewhere to give gifts for...Thanksgiving. But, Christmas works, too. And, in case you are wondering, it is best to order sooner rather than later....Hide it in the closet. I'll never find it. Honest.

Okay, it is true. I don't REALLY need it, but I just thought a little Christmas window shopping would be fun. Besides, what I really need are some comfy warm socks.

No More Tunes...

I finally removed my tunes. I know. It was a long time coming. I actually heard most of them all the way through for the first time in a while and realized some of the versions had changed and even think there may have been a song or two I have never heard. So, I did it. I clicked remove. Now, you can read in peace without hearing the same song for the hundredth time. Besides, now you can listen to your own itunes while you read. It's so quiet right now. Hmmm....that's nice, isn't it?

For the Love of Bags

I love bags. A lot. I don't love big price tags. I have so many bags I have collected over the years. You would think I had every bag I ever needed. I do. But, want is a different matter entirely. I want a bag for my camera that is for those outings where my uber cool sporty practical bag doesn't really fit in. I have been following the price tags of several beauties with no $ reduction in sight. I thought I would share them for mutual drooling and of course, your opinions.

First up, jill-e bag.
Ketti Camera Handbag. This one is just lovely as well, but with a totally different feel to it. It is rather a romantic garden and nature attitude about it.



The Kelly Moore Camera Handbag. This one is also lovely. A friend has this one and so I have actually seen this one in person. Soft, comfortable and obviously made to match its pricey tag. So lovely.
They are all quite lovely and surely worth their price tags, but like I said, I have a lot of bags. So, I was inspired. I am going to reuse, recycle a current favorite handbag and convert it into a functional and festive camera handbag. I will let you know how it turns out.

My Heart Melts

There are two things (among a few others) that warm my heart. The look in my daughters eyes when she looks at her daddy melts me. To her, he is a super hero. He can fix anything, protect anyone and she is sure that he will be the best doctor the world has ever seen. To her, he is topnotch dad. When he has a bad day, makes a mistake, or maybe doesn't do as well as he expects, Gracie encourages him with a "You are the best, Daddy! or You can do it, Daddy!"




She loves to make jokes with him, play tricks on him and "take him out" when playing Sorry.
What warms my heart even more is watching him interact with her. He is an incredible dad. He loves completely showing her with his attentiveness, his playfullness, and his devotion. He is protective and patient.
He believes she is the smartest, the most talented, the bravest, the funniest and the "est" of everything. He's her fan. He's her dad.
And although he always picks the wrong time to get her wound up with tickling right before bedtime or jokes in church, he is always present with her. He doesn't think of his role as a babysitter for mom, but rather as dad, as friend, and cheerleader.
And when I watch them play or walk hand in hand my heart melts and I fall in love with him all over again.

Sunday Snapshot: Our New England Weekend

It was a much needed break from the city sounds, sights and smells. As soon as the city was a distant reflection in the rear view mirror, the noise dissipated to near silence and we took in deep breaths of the crisp clean air. Sigh....

We arrived at our beautiful cottage cozy a fireplace to take away the autumn chill. It was perfect, but the best part was the view.

A little rain made the day rich and saturated with color. I put a plastic bag over my camera and went out into the rain.

We just decided to drive. We came across a sign for fresh apple cider. It brought us here to the back yard where the cider house showed the recent work of the fresh cider.

We found a small barn with fresh produce, apple cider and other treats for the taking...all using the honor system.
We stumbled upon a village doctor's farm and spent the rainy afternoon walking from pasture to pasture. Gracie enjoying the company of Uncle Tad and Auntie Helen.

We wandered upon an idyllic covered bridge.
Ate delicious apples from the cottage.
Took a rest after a hike through the woods along a beautiful stream to the perfect view.
No road trip is complete without our sweet sweet Lilly.

The colors, quiet beauty, and crisp clean air made for a perfect weekend, but the very best part was just being with family, family we don't get to see too often.
Getting to know "Auntie Helen" was a highlight.



Our day's drive back to the cottage encountered a wedding at sunset in this beautiful little church.

To top off the day, we chopped wood and started a fire snuggling in with a cup of hot cocoa.

It really was a perfect day.

On our last morning I awoke before dawn and tiptoed out of the house. I didn't want to miss a moment of the beauty of this special piece of creation. It was....awe-inspiring, re-prioritizing and well, peaceful. We left having spent much needed time together without internet, entertainment and other distractions of work and commitments. And, we left with promises to return...maybe not always to the same physical place, but to a place where we can escape our busy lives and just be - be together enjoying the gifts of family, enjoying the gifts of the simple life, enjoying the gift of creation.

Sunday Snapshot: Lilly and Her Person

Lilly is our dog. I didn't always refer to her as our dog. She was the baby in the house. Then, our daughter came along.

I was a little worried about how Lilly would handle a new member of the house, but Lilly understood her role better than I did. From Gracie's arrival in our family, Lilly appointed herself Gracie's protector, caregiver, and all around snuggle buddy.

She let her drag her from room to room, plop her in the bathtub for bathtime, nearly drown her while trying to "take her for a swim" on her leash, and pull her lips in opposite directions so she could laugh and say, "teeffff! funny teefffff."

The first morning after Gracie arrived, Lilly was found asleep beside her crib and from that day forward they were inseparable.

Lilly is getting old now. She has a heart condition and is going on 11.

But, she still keeps up with her Gracie. And every night, she pushes Gracie's door open and climbs up into her bed and rests her head on her tummy while she sleeps.

And when Gracie wants to dress her in doll clothes or make her prance the Brooklyn streets in butterfly wings Lilly does it, because Lilly loves her person, or more like, her baby.