While we waited in the large darken waiting room for the other families to finish their adoption process with the registrar, I caught Gracie walked around the room pointing different chairs and walls and talking to herself. I asked her what she was doing. "well," she said, "I am remembering...". From the photos and videos she had watched and looked through a hundred times. "you sat here reading to me...and this room...this is where they gave me to you. This is where I cried a lot...". I listened as her memories of the stories told and pictures and videos she had seen a hundred times took form in the actual place. I had meant to do all that with her this day, but little Emma was my complete attention knowing Gracie was content to flit about with Nina and her new friend Ellie. But for these moments we talked. While at the center both days Gracie hung close to us. While in the room where we had received Gracie we signed all the final papers, assured once again our dedication to little Emma, Emma was all smiles and facial expressions that had lacked the day before. Her little eyes desperately trying to widen and focus on my face while I held her. So silent. Just staring into my face or that of daddy auntie, sissy and cousin when they would appear close enough. The notary who said he was a bit shy of his English (I told him nit worry as it was far better than my Mandarin) asked us all the important questions about address and family, livelihood etc. Then asked about our first daughter. He then looked up to see her...and said to our rep how beautiful she was...how beautiful. Yes...beautiful...inside and out. They commented on the striking similarities in the girls. Then, he asked why we chose to adopt again from China, a question from the paperwork he was filling out. We gave a two or three sentence answer about our family, our first daughter, the connection they would share...all true, but really, it is so much more too....so much. With the dusting wait of 4 more years staring us in the face years ago, I suppose we could have switched long ago and avoided the long long wait for this day. And for some, that was the right thing for their family. For us, we didn't even consider it...no, our hearts already were tied deeply to this place...to this home of our first daughter...to it's culture, it's children...it's earth. I looked down into the face of this quiet little one staring as vest she could up into my face and tears welled up...five years gone, melted away, this was where we were meant to be...this little one who we were meant to love and adore. Her little hand found it's way to mine while Matt finished answering questions and we handed over our gift thanking him profusely. Who do you thank really? Who do you thank? A country, a place who cared for her, each one who made the moment possible...a birth mother.... As I write this recalling that day, Emma has finally coughed and cleared her poor little lungs that struggle each time she eats and she is now content wandering into a beautiful morning nap. Today, we will visit the Buddhist temple on our own...without our guide but with our little group of families who have grown quite close over the last few days. We want to go there...a place we went with Gracie. It is not a tourist location. But we go to pay tribute to a culture really, a place our daughters called their home...and to see the turtles saved from becoming turtle soup... ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment